I began seeing a woman who was in the middle of a divorce. When she became pregnant, I figured I was on the road to happiness with a wife and a family. She on the other hand became threatened because she feared losing the two children she already had in her upcoming custody battle. She said she wanted to have an abortion, and although I did express that I wasn’t real happy with that decision, I said that I would stand by her either way.
The day of the abortion I became so sick to my stomach that I had to leave work. I was honestly in so much pain on the inside that I sweated all day, my hands shook uncontrollably, and I couldn’t keep any food down. I tried all day to ditch the feelings, but nothing worked. At 11:30 at night I somehow made it into a church parking lot. When I got to the front door, I startled the Pastor of the church, and he really startled me too because neither one of us expected to see the other. The priest let me in. He went into the office, and I went towards the sanctuary.
When I started down the hallway to the church, I lowered my eyes to the ground, and tried to say I was sorry, but I broke into tears – too much to speak, and I fell on the floor and cried.
Then I felt arms around my body. I actually felt the pressure of someone holding me, but I couldn’t see anyone...
Pete Eastman
Pete Eastman is not the writer’s real name.
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