The choice

If someone put a gun to my head and said “CHOOSE! Choose between death or rejecting Jesus”, I would choose death. I would make that choice, because my life wouldn't be worth living anymore without the one thing that brings me sanity. The one thing that has saved me from sin.

You see years ago, I found myself falling into masturbation again and again. Unable to stop myself and always feeling rotten after doing it. Married and with children, it still occurred. One night, as the urge was overcoming me again, I said a simple prayer, "Jesus, I'm going to do this... unless you stop me. 

(Read the rest of the story on Wtness.org)

Young mother feels personally forgiven by Jesus after cheating on her husband

It started out with me being pregnant with my daughter. Before my daughter, I ended up having 8 miscarriages. So I never really got my hopes up about the one that was about to come to me. Before I knew it and the doctor gave me the clear, I was due in June of 2010. I ended up having a healthy baby girl. After I had her, I was diagnose to a disease that most women get right after having a baby. It was called post pardem(sp) disorder. I had really crazy thoughts about hurting myself, and wanting to even hurt the precious little baby girl that my lord has blessed me with. I had really evil thoughts. And I'm still married (and still am to the father of the baby). At this point I had really bad depression, and more evil thoughts kept coming across from me. I didn't want to tell anyone I was sick, or even if they knew I was acting different. So at one point I did mention to my husband that I couldn't be trusted alone with my daughter, and then he knew something was up. I went and got help from the doctor and that's when I found out what I had. After that I started to secluded myself from my husband and my daughter. LIke I didn't even want to be around them. I didn't even want to be around my own family because I felt like a completely stranger to myself. Like their was another person created inside me. So I started to talk to my husband's best friend completely out of the blue while I'm still fighting this disease. I ended up meeting him for a lunch. And we slowly started to talk more and more. And then things led to one thing and another. And I ended up having a six month affair, because I created this fantasy of a whole another life with this man, like I said I felt like I wasn't even in my body. Like another personality was created. I was hardly home, and then one day, I started to go get help, and get on medication. Because my husband wanted me to. So once the meds started working, I started to find myself feeling a little better, like I wanted to be around my family again. Like I was finding the old me.

Then I realized what I was doing was wrong, and I ended the affair with the man and...


(Read the rest at Wtness.org)

-    Rachel T    9/12/2012

How does Jesus Talk to Us? (#2)

I went to Planet Fitness today to work out my back, since it was sore.  The place was massively crowded with the folks who made New Year resolutions.  A few of them were young ladies in tight outfits.  I say a few because at least half were people out of shape or old like me. Can you guess which exercisers caught my eye the most? 

This is an embarrassing thing to discuss.  Even to a piece of paper.   

There are two camps here.
1.  Men are like that; it's natural.
2.  The Lord does not like even a hint of lust.

I know the truth. It’s been a message He’s been trying to get thru to me since I was in my mid 20’s. I know the truth.  It’s been the one area where I’ve only progressed to a certain point and still hold out from the Lord.

After looking, then refusing to look, looking, then refusing to look, I closed my eyes. Wanted to resist.  I filled my mental space with prayer for friends, relatives, co-workers who have hard situations.  Prayed for one person quickly then another.  Started to relax. 

I wondered to myself, “Lord, I don’t question your way, but I am curious.  Since you can do anything you want with or without human intervention, why ask us to pray for others?”

Once again, the grace of understanding seemed to come. I wish I could remember the exact words, since it’s always so simple and efficient and loving.  But it was something like this: “God is Love. To be a part of the Kingdom of God, you must Love. Prayer is a form of love. You are making a contribution to building the Kingdom when you pray for others. You are displacing selfishness with selflessness. If you catch sight of a woman doing jumping jacks and see her clothed breasts moving, don’t have a selfish thought that pleases only yourself.  Replace it with a loving thought with no lust.

(Read the rest at Wtness.org)

What God's voice sounds like (experience #4)

In the previous post, I mentioned that I needed reminders to maintain a respect for the female form.  Here's one where, in my absolutely convinced view, God provided another reminder. 

I've been married for a very long time now and have held true to my vows, having sex only with my wife.  But according to Matthew 5:28, I'm still not in the best shape spiritually because of where my eyes go.
 
Last month (July) I was grocery shopping for my family on a Saturday morning.  In July it's hot out, and I wear shorts and so do the women.  Many of us "people watch", and that activity can be harmless or not.  I noticed that I was looking way more at the beautiful women and way less at the ugly old men.

I've been attempting to put more time into my relationship with the Lord by prayer since Jan. 1 of this year.  And I've noticed I "get" what he wants to say more quickly now.  The sermon messages and Bible verses and Bible study conclusions that apply to particular situations come to mind more easily, and they seem to be "just what I need". 

But on this day, I again believe I heard the Man's "voice" in the back of my head.  Here's what I "heard":   "To me, that woman has no greater or lesser worth than any other person you see.  All are souls."

The implied message I got from this was that I should also do the same.  In this case, I have been able to repeat that phrase to myself whenever I find myself glancing towards a pretty woman, and I'm able to see her as a soul.  Not 100%, I admit.  But much more readily.

To read more stories like this, click the link for the label "Sound of God's Voice" below this posting or in the right-hand column.  You'll see all stories with that theme.

What God's voice sounds like (experience #3)

The previous post reminds me of a time when I too believe I "heard" God enouraging me.  So I'll share it here too.  This is also "R-rated", but worth being frank about.

I was about 27 years old, not dating anybody, and working out by myself in a weight room.  Nobody was around. While laying on my back on a bench, pressing iron, I was feeling pretty in-shape, and started to dream about sex.  In my mind I was picturing (excuse the directness) a woman's vagina, and very much enjoying staying with that image as long as I wanted.  It's important to say that I was in enjoyment mode and not feeling any hesitation or guilt despite what my parents taught me about respecting women. 
 
In a completely unexpected moment, I "heard" a strong, caring, father-like voice say very clearly to me "This is one of my greatest creations.  Respect it as such."  

This was the first time anything like this had ever happened to me.  I was quite alarmed.  The words were quite distinct, even though I did not hear them through my ears.  I heard them in the back of my head.  It was not a thought of my own.  It came from someone outside of me. 

You would think that my alarmed reaction would be akin to being caught by the school principal smoking behind the school, like "Man, I'm in trouble now!".  But it was not that kind.  I was alarmed at the idea that the God I already believed in was someone who would interact with a mere peon like me.  I was alarmed that He was that close to me.  I was alarmed that He knew exactly what I was thinking. 

But curiously, the alarm did not translate to fear.  His delivery was distinctly more loving and undertanding than a school principal.  But at the same time I did not feel like he was telling me that savoring those pre-marital sexual ideas were OK.  He was reinforcing His commands, but in a way that I felt more loved than chastised. 

There was no question in my mind that it was God, and I will hold that memory my entire life.  

Being a human though, the way it affected my behavior wore off over time and I needed additional reminders over the years.

To read more stories like this, click the link for the label "Sound of God's Voice" below this posting or in the right-hand column.  You'll see all stories with that theme.

What God's voice sounds like (reported experience #2)

This post takes a risk.  It is "R" rated (not for the immature).  But it covers a topic that's very real and very difficult for many many men. 
A man I know confided in me this very personal story.  For obvious reasons, I will not give any clues about his identity.  I'll pretend his name is John Doe.

This was at a point when John had not had sex for many years.  He was dreaming an especially sexual dream one night, and getting very worked up. He said to himself, "If I could get a hooker tonight, I think I would do that, despite knowing that it's a huge sin".   Then a few moments later, he appealed to God by thinking, "Lord, this is just NOT FAIR!"  

John tells me that he heard a voice in the back of his head, not through his ears. But it was definitely a voice, using words, not thoughts.  He cannot fully explain the timbre or tone of the voice, but after it spoke, he was absolutely convinced that it was not a thought from his own mind, but that it was God. 

The voice said, "Trust in Me and you will see my power".  

John tells me that he has not told anybody else this story because of the general perception that if you say you heard a voice or heard God that people, even Christian people, will think of you as Schizophrenic.  But he says that there is nothing anybody can say that will convince him he did not hear God. 

He says that the voice had several characteristics:
1.    It was loving and authoritative.   But not demandingly authoritative.
2.    It was definitely a different being than himself.  He did not initiate the thought. It occurred.  The speaker identified himself as being unique by saying "Me" and "my".  Joe has never had a thought like that.

I want to add that I noticed that the message was not a condemning message.  It was an encouraging message.  It did not say that sexual sin was acceptable.  It said "Trust in me", implying "Trust in my commandments, and you will see that what you give up in my name will be replaced with something much greater if you persist."